The bell curve is the Serpent With the lump in the middle Who ate Adam and Eve By convincing us we’re all mostly… But we’ve proven indigestible

Keep in mind that if you’re going to jump from the frying pan into the fire a golden parachute just buys you plenty of time to ponder

To be an apparatchik In our collective dissolution of… It matters not Which side you take Just as long as you remain

Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…

He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear

Liberalism is a gift That can only be received from Go… Sourced anywhere else It becomes a debt That can never be repaid

Only a poet Can accurately describe anything More accurately A poet can describe anything Except himself

There is no mind There is no body There is thinking and there is fee… And I know all too well How you feel

Breathe in not out

It was always true that if you tried to save the relationship by looking the other way eventually they’d want to be

The answer man is left with a ques… What does a woman want? The question woman is stuck with a… A good man is hard to find but eas…

In becoming a celebrity a person meets the same kind of de… that a tree does in becoming a Christmas tree– embalmed in sugar

Cyberspace is an unmaker’s space where we make the tech to unmake the people to make the money And though you can prepare

This is going nowhere so, by all means let’s keep going

I’ve never been good at shaving I struggle to put on deodorant wit… And I’m frequently dripping tooth… Onto that same shirt In this an many other ways