1:52 am
people have hurt me. taken advantage and made me feel unsafe. you have never harmed me, so why does it bother me so much
tear me limb from limb turn me to dust my life impacts no one why do i exist? i am disappointing
i feel... “okay” really that means i’ve been dissoc… it means distracted it means ignoring what upsets me it means crying less,
always been taught to prioritize other people’s pain over my own trained selfish if i speak about myself at… supposed to normalize anger
i’m always repressing my urges to scream to bash my head into the wall to cry in the shower set to its ho… i hope one day they realize
there is a creature that is living inside of me– a parasite that feeds on hatred and pain. i promise it isn’t my fault.
i love you more than i ever though… you fell into my life when i didn’t expect a thing you fell into my life when i needed you most
i have been trying so hard to heal stuck in the past, despite my effo… life in the sun felt so good i only wish that i could have stay… wandering aimlessly now that i was
same old patterns, willing to give my love away. but what’s the shame in that? yes it hurts - never quite reciprocated -
i hope that every time that you see this shade of green it drives you mad i hope that every time that you hear a laugh like mine
i cannot rest my heavy eyes due to… and no matter how hard i try and t… you’re always there laughing as if you belong if only you’d visit me in the fles…
jotting down my thoughts trying to make sense of it all shaking hands stiff fingers i cannot even self soothe anymore
if i died in my room, whether it were an accident or int… how long would it take for you to… everything is about you, you, you so where does that leave me?
i want it to work so badly but i don’t think it ever will unfortunately i am putting too much effort in once again
it is so incredibly draining to feel so passionless. i just want to feel useful interesting