Takeoff always happens just as we are running out of runway
Staring at your phone came to be known as the thousand yard stare
Just as He covered 2/3 of the Ear… God made us each 2/3 water To make it obvious But not too obvious That we don’t ever die
It’s all over but for the shouting and this is the shouting
First they promised us belonging Afterwards they clarified that they meant You belong to us
It is said that “rules create fun”, but guns create rules while warring results from anarchy
It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak
Big Brother used to just Cross his fingers To avoid telling the truth Then uncrossed them into a V for Vacancy
If we’re all afraid of change and if the more things change the more they stay the same then we’re all afraid that nothing will ever really chan…
On a gray scale Of one to ten I’m a perfect five
The biggest change in my lifetime Has been the change in the meaning… They don’t have a prayer It used to mean They don’t have a chance
What do all apples have in common? It only takes one rotten apple to… Because all apples are unique But a mob of apples are uniquely b…
When God closes one store He opens another
Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap
I had just started explaining smar… When the alien stopped me in mid-s… And explained smart phones to me Originally, in order to monitor an… They were just going to attach
