All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

Bureaucracy’s biggest sin Is malingering as democracy– Bureaucracy sees the will of the p… As a form of madness But pretends to follow the will of…

Never get greedy Always cut your losses And remember that it’s better to be lucky than good and it’s bad luck to be so good th…

My boss said It’s my way or the highway so, I took the highway to hell But when God said It’s your way or the doorway

John F. Kennedy’s hair was so lus… for the most part men never wore hats again At first we must have looked oddly like tub…

If you take the cognitive map of… and rip it in half you’re left with two Google Maps: the one on the right of Israel

Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death

In the past walking into a cathedral made you feel small Now it makes you feel fat

I wasn’t shocked when scientists announced that a universe already infinitely… could still be expanding because I do have an ego

At first everyone was to be followed by a p… to protect us from terrorists or kill us if we were terrorists But then it was decided that

You can cash in on your talent You can cash in on your good looks You can cash in on your hard work You can cash in on your good luck You can even cash in on all four

She was so cool that even her periods were fashionably late

For the longest time we were convinced there’s something they’re not tell… But now that they’ve finally told… we can’t stop asking