All men come with self-destruct bu… If he seems to be missing one, you’re the button

I have a tendency to overreact When people tell me to get lost By taking them literally and serio… Which is literally how I found Go… Seriously!

We are all problem children Our problem is Everything we do is done to get a… As if every action doesn’t come wi… An equal and opposite reaction

A record sounds the same every time you play it A broken record is intolerable because it isn’t broken, it’s just…

Decisions my wife doesn’t make are settled by stare decisis

Catwoman shamed Batman into getting out of the Batmobile… by telling him it was just like ec…

The Imaginary: I disagree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it The Symbolic:

Instead of using our flashlights to move through the wilderness in the dark, slowly we believe that if we just keep shining them about the dark forest

To whom it may concern: Time travel is impossible

All plants and animals die But only human life is A near-death experience Immortality, then Wil be the death of man

Just when you think You’ve seen it all It all falls apart So, you put it back together again Thinking this time it’s forever

The kingdom of heaven is like a tr… where gentlemen may remove their h… while all others must

I thought I’d crafted a mystique when all I’d rea– lly made were mistakes

The worst-case scenario comes true when enough people believe it’s the best case scenario

It was always true that if you tried to save the relationship by looking the other way eventually they’d want to be