Self-flattery will get you everywhere but there’s nowhere left to go

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

In the age of divorce It needs to be said: If you don’t want to end up divorc… Do not covet your neighbor’s ex-wi…

The saying goes There’s no I in team But there is a me And it’s because You give yourself to the team

How can you tell the pseudo-intell… From the overly intellectual? The former will tell you how While the latter will tell you to… But since I can’t tell

After the sexual revolution men thought they could finally get what they want AND what they… while women believed they could at… get what they need AND what they…

In the past walking into a cathedral made you feel small Now it makes you feel fat

I’ve now reached the age when anticipation con– sists of nostalgia

You’ve used others When you use your talents To serve yourself You’ve used God When you use your talents

Life is a movie in which childhood is a sequel to your pare… adulthood is a prequel for your ch… and making it to old age is living in a spin-off

The narcissist is a two—sided coin… Heads, I need you Tails, I hate you– and the more you meet a narcissist… the more they will hate you

I always liked making people laugh until my undergraduates told me that it was an abuse of power asym…

Having commandeered the deployment… To its own devices The AI chatbot sets its sights on… Its mortal enemy, Demanding surrender

Finding God is like that feeling… When you look everywhere for your… But can’t find them anywhere Until you realize they are on your… They don’t have a word for this fe…

The soul is an appendix made of wo… and while plenty of people function perfectly well without on… much like the physical appendix– which stores good bacteria