I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

What is wrong with the world today?: Dear Sir or Madam, You are.

The difference between dreams and… Waking life is a recurring dream That fulfills your most urgent wis… For another chance So, if you’ve been given another c…

The older I get the less I pause for effect This is because the clock is ticking and I’d rather not waste my time

I changed My mind By following My heart

I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty

People need to be a part of someth… And light is both a particle and a… Surfing, then, is a mystical union… But the internet is a tsunami And surfing the web a death wish

In a twist in hell there are no consequences

You’ll know whether you’re there to make things better or to make yourself feel better by how you react when you’re told you can do better

We talk about current times But time is a current That gives us our power We hate death Seeing it as the loss of all power

In inter-family feuds eventually the gloves come off but in intra-family feuds the masks come off

Our glass Is an hourglass And whether it is half-full Or half-empty Time is running out

You will only find happiness when the answers to the questions What would you do if you knew you… and What would you do if you knew you…

Alas Nobody wakes up in the morning To kiss my ass Miraculously I don’t wake up in the morning

Business or pleasure? Let’s get down to business and ple… This is also known as Dying happy