The time is right When we realize The price is right What is the price? If you have to ask
The best way to prevent something from happenin… is to convince people that it already did
You can’t cut the cord When you are the cord Connecting what you’ve been told y… With How you will inflict that burden o…
Self-inflicted wounds Are those that result from Trying to cut yourself off from G… Because that is impossible So, you just end up cutting yourse…
Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator
Our surveillance state is uniquely American in that it is of the people by the people and for the people
Life is a talent show where most everyone is doing bad versions of easy impressions
Less self-interest is in your best interest except on Pinterest
At bottom crypto mining is just another form of extracting fossil fuels But the crypt keeper knows that the best way to hide somethin…
Home is where you go and you have to take their shit-eating grin
There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation
It used to be that We could feed our souls By serving others Or feed our egos By serving ourselves
I was struggling to decide Whether music is more defined by t… “90’s music is obviously the great… Or by type– “Grunge is so underrated, it’s ove…
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
I have two dogs Which means I’m in double trouble I have three daughters Which means