The reason every man has his price is because he always fails to real… 1. that he can never get what he w… 2. this makes his desire priceless

I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes

The old saying– It’s better to have one and not ne… Than to need one and not have it– Comes from the fact that Everyone has what they need

There’s always been a method to our madness Its latest name is the scientific method The madness is believing in

Guilt is intolerable which is why “I can explain everything” is processed into “I have a theory which explains ev…

I had just started explaining smar… When the alien stopped me in mid-s… And explained smart phones to me Originally, in order to monitor an… They were just going to attach

At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast

I’ve long since stopped working on myself but I work overtime on my curated self

I believe in a future in which man perfects the art of expressing his discontent in bushes that look like clouds

Most people can get away with sweeping a few things under the ru… but when I started working at the… I couldn’t help noticing how the rugs looked like

You need to follow the rules all t… so that you’re following the rules… At the same time, you need to know exactly when to break the rules But there can’t be a rule for brea…

Natural disaster was always an act of God With climate change we’ve made it our own

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

You’ll know you’re talking to God When He doesn’t talk back Yet you still have your answer