My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control
Let’s call the before times “The… It’s not what you know It’s who you know But after the social media It’s not who you know
When people say I live on my phone I wonder how they withstand the pr… Of eight tons per square inch
Catwoman shamed Batman into getting out of the Batmobile… by telling him it was just like ec…
Learning how to walk is learning how to fall forward while remembering to catch yoursel… again and again Walking is the illusion
It wasn’t false modesty exactly You might call it un-unpretentious if you were being pretentious
In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…
I was caught between a rock and a hard place unable to decide on a way out Instead, you decided on me
7. “Strategic” nuclear war: Assured destruction = yes, but mut… 6. Giant asteroid hits earth: No one to blame 5. Cyber war:
All of reality is a temptation To believe in yourself But if you do You’ll never get it– Self-confidence is always lacking
I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty
The New Revised Standard Version… A frenemy of yours is a frenemy of… whereas the New King James Versi… The frenemy of my frenemy is my fr…
If I’ve said it once they’ve liked it a thousand times
The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth
Imagine all the things They wouldn’t allow If they were invented now Anything fast: No motorcycles
