I’ve been running the numbers and the running joke that we’re running the show will keep everyone running in plac… until they all start running for t…
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
If Wile E. Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner he’d suddenly lose interest
In school they put me in the gifted class but as one of my favorite teachers finally put it “There’s just something missing”
I try to win but I don’t play to win; I play to play
The intelligentsia’s job used to b… Biting the invisible hand that fee… And because they couldn’t see it a… They established the surveillance… To locate it everywhere
I don’t get mad I get odd
If you pull my heartstring I’ll say one of eleven pre-recorded phrases but you can only hear the ones in the first four dimensions
We’ve got enough to go on That there’s enough for everybody So long as we are tough enough But we couldn’t leave well enough… And soon enough
In the latest version of doublespe… A rhetorical question Is shrouded in a question
The eternal flame at Al Gore’s tomb works like the light in a refriger… and only burns when you look at it
Much like God created the univers… Where before there was no universe… In this universe we find patterns Where, upon first glance There are no apparent patterns, ju…
Life is a give and take And since he’ll never give any cri… Because he can’t take any criticis… A people pleaser is the walking de…
If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA
I’ve been gaining valuable experie… In on-the-job training It’s a big job But somebody’s got to do it– I’m learning how to predict the fu…
