Each question on the purity test concludes with the following promp… Which two answers are correct? And you always have the same four choices:

Lao Tse said of the Tao that “You can use it any way you want” Jacques Lacan further insisted th… you should only use it the way you… when he said

No shoes, no shirt, no service Just say no Do not pass go, do not collect $20… Don’t call us, we’ll call you No pain, no gain

Like Coke for Coca-Cola, Mr. Pibb is short for Mr. Pibb, ABD

I am going to delay early retirement until everyone is middle class

When randomness blends with lawfulness you get the Loch Ness

Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one

Unsatisfied with the miracle of li… Peaceful transfer of power in serv… The peace movement plans to establ… A mostly peaceful monopoly on powe…

7. “Strategic” nuclear war: Assured destruction = yes, but mut… 6. Giant asteroid hits earth: No one to blame 5. Cyber war:

You can’t watch sports these days… Father Time is undefeated Which is when I always quote Saul… “Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky…

As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever

All of our choices Come down to this: We can fear God Or we can fear death

You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher

I was a bullshit artist until I realized a career as a bullshit scientist paid better

When the loyal opposition smelled a rat the administration’s defense centered on the fact that it wasn’t the rats that had carrie…