We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…

That moment when you reclassify yourself from a mystery to an unsolved mystery

If dreams are the fulfillment of wishes you aren’t allowed to make then daydreams are the fulfillment of wishes

Don’t fear death– Time is the chisel With which we sculpt the infinite Or if, like me, you work with word… Each day is a first edition

Cyberspace is an unmaker’s space where we make the tech to unmake the people to make the money And though you can prepare

Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one

I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes

They say that it is impossible To travel at the speed of light But slow and steady Always wins the race Because it is actually

Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know

All fiction Is serious fiction Because all fiction Is life and death Everything on the internet

I don’t have any delusions of grandeur; I have delusions of posthumous grandeur that would retroactively nullify

The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul

People want to get rich because they think money will make them happy People want to stay rich because they know that money

I was waiting for my ship to come… But maybe I should have made like… And built a ship Especially since my neuroses all c… You’ve probably heard of them–

A human has being so, we call ourselves human beings God has meaning so, we call Him