The usual cruelty Is having multiple children And enforcing a hierarchy In order to keep the peace Unusual cruelty

We should all know by now That every day is a do-over But we fail to realize That this means we’re in overtime And our version of overtime

Is it really leading by example when I floss in the office men’s r… after lunch or is this what the Buddhist’s cal… bodhisattva exhibitionism

I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

Note that the male tes– tes are exactly the size of small potatoes

It’s as thoughtless as a fling conjoined with worshiping as we all “Move fast and break thi… For in going from built to last arriving at built too fast

I’m sad to say I’ve never been happier And I’m happy to say I’ve never been sadder All of which is to say

Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened

Your soul is mission control And Houston We have a problem Literally Problem is

In the new version of Heads I win, tails you lose People hate to be wrong But love to apologize And if you accept their apology

There is hiding yourself and there is hiding from yourself; the former is often

In person we can struggle for equality Online we’ve already achieved

People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…

The heart is a pump That never stops Caring Artificial Intelligence is possib… But machines will never care