Longer, by Thicc Boi Poetry

Longer

June 16th, 2023
A viscous cycle

The longer I wait for you

The more I prolong this pain

The longer you wait to speak

The more distant I become

The more I heal

The longer I will take to reconsider

The more I think

The longer I wait

I pray you don’t find These words of pain from my heart I’m broken right now

You were the light of my life So tell me why You decided to burn it to cinders And leave me in darkness

My self deprecation Are humbling jokes As to starve my ego Not a reflection of self hatred My sense of self

Are you eating enough? Are you staying hydrated? Are you loving yourself? Or is your breath left bated? Are you sleeping enough?

What I mistook for your warmth I now realize was actually a freez… You found me, built me up Then destroyed me You claim to care about me

I want to walk away I want this hope to stay I’m twisted and torn My promise, I’m sworn To see you again someday

What I do Was for you Now it’s me Found self love But I still

When we met You found me At my worst When we loved Time stood still

This hope A cold burning A flame made of shadow Fueled by need and fueled by desir… Goes out

My hands grow weaker This hold I will prolong My legs shake and quiver But still I’ll stand strong My mind is chaos

A sudden Good-Bye Is not a finality But a paused Hello

As the waves crash along the shore Which seems so far away, I ask myself; Why do I swim? Pushed from a ship

Do not mistake my silence, For absence. I will always be there for you. Always. But I must be here for myself,

Like a tower of crystal glasses My hope stacks higher Waiting to come crashing down And lacerate my heart below A thousand tiny shards

This bed is too big I have too much space These blankets are too much Engulfing me, but I still shiver I have too much food