It used to be that if you were obscure you had to be able to handle the truth and if you were famous

God doesn’t make mistakes But He lets us make mistakes Which, unless I’m mistaken Means there’s no mistaking us for… But being mistake prone

Like anything else immortality has its pros and cons: Our chickens never come home to ro… but our cows never come home eithe…

The number one rule For doing a number on us Is taking a number Because when our number comes up It’s only ever because our days ar…

The difference between God and ma… Is that man can’t abide A free Jew While God will abide With the Jews

In the last stage of capitalism the rich will be ascetics

It was easier to live the lie I w… Than to face the truth we all knew But eventually The truth blew up in my face And now it’s written all over my f…

I’m not scared of the explicit danger I’m afraid of the implicit threats

We don’t have to take care of our… But we have no choice God doesn’t have to be with us But He always is– The choice is ours

The surest sign That people don’t know what they w… Is when they want to have it both… But since you can’t have it both w… They settle for enforcing one way

Initially, as you approach hell it feels like you’re getting a warm welcome

If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short

If you fear God Then you will turn your attention… At various times each day Coming to learn that the fear of… Is the fear of losing your connect…

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

An ideology will fail when followers are asked to believ… despite the fact that it isn’t tru… but will succeed as soon as those followers believe