Solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment which is why they lock the cell but if they put you in solitary confinement

The United States’ motto is still In God We Trust but everyone knows that’s come to mean Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

Under new management, hell now consists of friendly fire

Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…

There’s a groove I’ve been going… just between heroic and anti-heroi… that’s perfectly romantic But betwixt the truth-teller and the soothsayer

I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

The ego is a helicopter equipped to safeguard belonging deter conflict and elevate status

My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act

My life used to be An open book Now it’s an open state secret

Unlike the Americans and the Engl… who are divided by a common langua… the Americans and the Parisians are divided by a common symptom: disappointment

Yes Life is a pain But it is a labor pain

Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi

The human capacity for love is perfectly equaled by the human capacity for aggression The chances that these two traits would have been selected for