No one is exactly sure why God switched from a pass/fail syst… to having you grade yourself but there have been quite a lot of B-plusses flying ar…

God’s not buying it Until you own it– Are we clear?

When the cat’s away the mice will be paralyzed by all the choices

When you have to be rich just to be middle class what do you have to do to be rich? That’s what they call a good quest… And since you have no choice

For the longest time we were convinced there’s something they’re not tell… But now that they’ve finally told… we can’t stop asking

I believe in God and I believe in liberalism The tension between these two beliefs

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

We never know what’s in the offing Which is why we’re always on Except on Shabbos When we’re off And then it’s off to the races aga…

Charlie Brown wants To believe Lucy wants To deceive But maybe, just maybe

Naturally, we all want the very be… Only to discover That there is a lot of work involv… For something which in this world You can never have

The last stage of wes– tern civilization was groupthink without groups

I brought a wife To a gun fight Don’t worry You haven’t met my wife

Optimism Hope without optimism Hope against hope Unconditional surrender Noncontingent being

Unlike the erstwhile folks in acco… AI has a balance sheet for taste and determined that after their recent depreciation all jokes are in poor taste