Living in the Information Age is… looking at a Pointillist painting but you can’t connect the dots

Everybody impersonates who they used to be but only some are impostors

Sanity requires distance And social media is always Right at our fingertips

Having priced myself Out of the market I’ve rebranded as generic

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food

You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher

Social media submission guidelines… Submissions mustn’t be original wo… Submissions must be exclusive but the exclusion must be implicit… Submissions are always already ove…

Monotheism is true; Liberalism works Put them together and The true works

We subtract to find the difference But at bottom There is no difference Leaving it up to us To make a difference

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism

It’s counterintuitive but refusing to make hard choices only to see them made on your beha… by the loudest voices still counts as being hoisted by y…

The truth is always at a disadvant… because while you can harness truth in service of a lie you can’t tell lies

When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…

There are no endings neither happy nor sad– Does this make you happy or sad? I pretend to answer the question by preferring songs that end