Our glass Is an hourglass And whether it is half-full Or half-empty Time is running out

I don’t get mad I get odd

While others await the second coming my own second shortcoming (the first– keeping the peace

Each of us gets to ask God one question and this question is your life

I may not be deep but I compensate for it by getting deep into the weeds

There is a place Where children are to be seen And not heard Where all the children are raised To keep up appearances

In Mexico City men never wear shorts and if that’s where my anxiety dreams are set they could represent

My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said

Almost every student prefers and l… But will almost always take the vi… Because those classes are always e…

In theory rule by consensus sounds more democratic but in practice it leads to hung juries

Life = Trial by fire Death = Trial by firing squad

Seeing as no good deed goes unpuni… Everyone else turned the job offer… And went back to waiting on their… Only the Jews understood that In the real world

Social media is proof of concept That you can please Some of the people all of the time And this starts to feel mighty pow… But this feeling is a forgetting

No one wanted to wear augmented reality goggles until our design team hit upon the idea of making them look

The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet