The surest sign That people don’t know what they w… Is when they want to have it both… But since you can’t have it both w… They settle for enforcing one way

There was a time when fools managed perceptions in order to manage reality, realists managed perceptions because they couldn’t manage reali…

Originally a method for learning from mistakes science had been debased into a tool for sorting right from wrong

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

We expect a fiduciary relationship with our financial advisors and all they do is help handle the money Yet we so often fail

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

When I think of everything God has done for me I cry like Crying Jordan Would you believe With God

Rule #1- Where God says no, the devil says… And where the devil says no, God… Rule #2- If everybody knows the answers ahe…

Our view from the mor– al high ground was blocked by the Mt. Rushmore of golf

Optimists dance the two-step: It’s going to get worse before it gets better Pessimists plod

“A voice called out in the wildern… Clearing the way of the Lord Straightening a road in the desert For our God” Listen closely–

Just as birds regurgitate to feed their young human beings have culture

The only stipulation they put on our capitulation was against any abrogation in accepting their congratulations

On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…

When we poll people about what the weather in heaven is like the most popular answer perhaps not surprisingly is like a cold day in hell