The only way God can love us all the same amoun… Is by loving each of us infinitely And the only way God can love each of us differentl…

When your nuclear family of origin Takes the nuclear option They’ve already gone mad and self-… So, they’re counting on mutual ass… To finish the job

After fifteen years of marriage I thought by now I’d have made partner

In the New Age everybody knows that everything happens for a reason but nobody knows the reason so, everybody pastes together

If there is one thing we can all agree on it’s moral certainty

Lunch is born free but everywhere is in chain restaurants

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes

Heart cancer is vanishingly rare because a heart of gold only spreads love, not gold while a mind of gold inevitably spreads all the way

As social animals the central question of our lives asked and answered answered and asked day upon day

One person can never predict the future but two people can if they get married This is a clue

AI didn’t write this poem; it wrote the algorithm that decided whether or not you would read it

My utopia is a dystopia where I get to say I told you so

I have just complet– ed my memoirs: One Hundred Years of Solid Food

Your mind Is playing a trick on you And you are the trick But since all healing Is a form of getting over yourself

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger