When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

It’s widely known that A man’s best availability is his a… The highest praise for a man is What would we do without him? But it’s rarely said that

Jews learned to read between the l… when time and again they were granted a lifetime membe… only to find that their membership could still be lapsed

Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated

Whistler’s mother had just spent a long day with Whis– tler’s mother-in-law

Imagine what the mannequins say to… as they go their separate ways fro… as each ships out from the factory A religious mannequin says: There, but for the grace of God,…

Living in the Information Age is… looking at a Pointillist painting but you can’t connect the dots

The moment I think It’s beneath me the solid ground collapses into a sinkhole where I remain

The cover-up is always worse when there’s no crime

In banishing fear of the unknown By knowing it all Our risk is only greater Because now It’s the devil you know

The pursuit of fame is the human equivalent of a dog chasing its own tail

No one ever told the truth but not a one of us were liars because we always spoke exclusivel… in the future tense

You have bathed in the Fountain o… Every time you wash off the sweat After a hard day’s work

When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

I always hoped My life would be Fortuitous So, I lived in fear Now I pray