The devil’s one job Is making you an offer You can’t refuse And there’s only one thing The devil can’t offer

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

They can kick you out and send you to Siberia but they can’t kick God out of Siberia

To get into heaven they tell you that you have to answer one question correctly and that there are

If you don’t trust God You try to control others But eventually find That you can’t control those Who trust in God

Google Glass never took because smart phones are a prosthetic for the hands not the eyes

Unsatisfied with natural consequen… human beings concocted perverse in… which is to say where once we were mere mortals now we are self-defeating

The truth is always at a disadvant… because while you can harness truth in service of a lie you can’t tell lies

We spend our whole lives going in… Our mistake is believing that we’r… When we’re always either Slowly spiraling upwards Or caught in a downward spiral

Saying Get out of your comfort zone to an American is like telling a turtle to get out of its shell

As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent

Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

Keep in mind that if you’re going to jump from the frying pan into the fire a golden parachute just buys you plenty of time to ponder

One problem with civilization is that the people drawn to power are precisely those who lack it