We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

You can never be happy with what you have; on– ly with what you lack

I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage

The surest sign That people don’t know what they w… Is when they want to have it both… But since you can’t have it both w… They settle for enforcing one way

There is only one way to claim moral authority: Convincing others that they are the authority in their own life And based on exhaustive research

The far left puts the silent and invisible H in tolerate Guess where? There’s a clue

Lunch is born free but everywhere is in chain restaurants

Unconditional love is unbearable so there’s always at least one unspoken rule given to its recipie… Just don’t waste it on them

Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone

You can watch my disappearing act as long as you’ve turned your back on the light allowing you to see a mere shadow of myself

No one who desires to be good believes themselves good; all those who believe themselves g… do so in service of their true desire

Inevitably my spirit vegetable was rutabaga

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

The epic poem for this epoch will have to say the most with the least