The United States’ motto is still In God We Trust but everyone knows that’s come to mean Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

You’re only allowed to define yourself by what you’re against (anti-fascist, anti-Zionist, etc.) and what you’ve come after

The biggest risk of immortality is the lack of risk Chances are you’ll be bored to dea… for all eternity

When postmodern nihilism governs w… Western elites govern by playing i… Because nothing is worth the risk

People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

Actual justice consists of hearing both sides of the story in order to decide which side is in the right meaning that justice

Peanut butter’s not very good by itself but chocolate is Because I’m not very religious it’s important for me

Bureaucracy’s biggest sin Is malingering as democracy– Bureaucracy sees the will of the p… As a form of madness But pretends to follow the will of…

Ours was the first all you can eat… to earn a coveted Michelin star and I always thought it was becaus… when you ordered the whole enchila… it came with bottomless fries

Told to shut my mouth I took them literally Zipped my lips And held my breath Until I could stomach it no longe…

On a sphere If you drill down far enough Eventually you will find yourself Drilling up to the surface So, while we may never get to the…

When the highly educated play dumb and you are dragooned into spelling it out for them know that their obtuse dissembling bespeaks regression to the oral st…

There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak

I may have a way with words but the metaverse is fast doing away with words