Abiding means to wait expectantly, defiantly, or submiss… and I typically manage all three in the grocery store checkout line even in the express lane
Scientists insist that 95% of the… consists of undetectable, unknowab… because this belief makes their ca… Like you and me the little that they do know
The lion hasn’t lain down with the lamb if, in its slumber the lion dreams it’s a lamb
Our elites believe That the key to holding their grip… In the face of domestic opposition… Wringing their necks While in the face of external thre…
Tired of my pre-contemplation phas… God sent me my wife Who Contemplated me during the honeymo… Prepared me for fatherhood
People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…
Once masks became quote-unquote op… the unmasked were finally unmasked and the masked remained unamalgamated
Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about
When we were kids we liked to spell Mississippi out loud for fun but we never pronounced the S’s–
The most common rookie mistake is thinking that because you know what you were saved from that you also know what you were saved for
I try to imagine what it was like for my wife when two lines meant positive and the closest I get is when
You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack
A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off
If you make the mistake of believi… there’s no room for error the surest way to avoid making ano… is to keep making the same mistake
Everybody impersonates who they used to be but only some are impostors
