LOVE DESPEREATION AND DEFEAT
I wrote this as an in-direct letter to my lover who love's someone else but holds devotion and fake affection for me too
I’ll be that desperate kid forever and
I know I’ll always be in defeat
I’ll always be the one stitching down green patches on your red flag behavior.
Cause that’s what I have been teaching myself since forever..
I know how be used and selfless and ego less and how to be sold and how to beg and how to feed expectations in relations.
But you know what I know you
might not be the real you but my imaginary you.
I did knew sometimes.
I saw it coming too, but sometimes I didn’t.
But I never wanted a new grave to be build in my soul a one more evermore for me to remember and smile and laugh and cry for.
I am still in haze of those nights and days those sun and street lights and fool promises.
And you said “show me the real you” the scars you have
wounds you have been hiding too
and look where we are not the same darling not the same.
Cause I am ugly I am not sun, moon and stars I am not the light, I am the darkest and saddest part of it all,
And tell me isn’t it hard to love me to choose me to be with me and to support me You know that your those forever’s vanishes every other morning..
Cause I have seen more stronger and protectives people to loose me, by not keeping there words.
Cause everyone don’t love everyone like I do and people don’t get broken and disappointed and used and trashed as often as I do.
And I love her the third one, she is everything I can never be, but she can never be me.
And I can never become her, cause I loved you like water, breeze and rain
And that’s my love something that everybody had not experienced.
And I know the poems I wrote for you no one gonna be writing something like this for you.
I know I have never been part of anybody’s tomorrow’s picture.
And I know the dreams I paint the souls I have awakened in human bodies would never be mine too.
And I live in the hope of it all everyday, with every breath, with every glimpse.
I’ll wait for you to change and I’ll for you to be mine.
And “I’ll Live in the Hope of It All”
