How to Win Friends and Influence people
They say You can run but you can’t hide Which is why the One Ring With its power of invisibility Is so seductive
They say Believing that God has a plan for… Is a fantasy But unless you believe in God His plan for you is
The climate change deniers missed the boat on all the ocean front property in Arizon…
People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…
The only way to avoid giving the man who has everything more of the same is to give him nothing
The best a mystic can say is that while none of us are one of a kind we’re all kind of a one
If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA
When I was a kid people grew on me like grass Now they’re more like sod
Inside the hierarchy Humiliation is both a warning That there are no individuals with… And a reminder That your place in the group is at…
The world to come is like a signature look that’s always a new look
Let good intentions be my sword and naivete my shield
If the world exists on a continuum between utopia and dystopia but instead of polar opposites utopia and dystopia are both hell then at the exact midpoint
We spend our whole lives going in… Our mistake is believing that we’r… When we’re always either Slowly spiraling upwards Or caught in a downward spiral
Acting locally solved climate change but now instead of a life or death situati… which at least had a degree of rom…
The turning point came after I pegged my happi– ness to the dollar
