I told my daughter Let me give you some free advice: You get what you pay for And she said I don’t get it

This world’s highest praise– “Never change”- Is actually a curse Only God and His Torah are uncha… So that in our constant evolution

Can’t buy me love but you can buy me likes

When women need a break from the m… they must be able to endure a whole lot of his navel gazing

When the devil told me “Fuck-up is a noun And so are you” I didn’t know if he meant I’m also a fuck-up

We used to wonder What will they think of next? Having lost our capacity for wonde… We insist Now they’ve thought of everything

Past– I know what I want Therefore, I need someone to tell… so I can go ahead and do it Present–

Like you I was born for greatness And, like you My call to greatness is “A great disturbance in the Force…

One woman’s sunk cost is another woman’s sunken treasure

Yes, everything good between a man and a wo– man involves friction

The biggest shock of Judgment Day Was that they don’t give out grade… Just comments Which, of course, is worse Mine said:

When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…

But surely, you’ve noticed by now That all progress is incremental Across increments of time Because all progress is time-bound And the unfolding of time

My social medi– a persona is the mime who just won’t shut up

Hell is other people Purgatory is other people’s money Heaven is money