I survived my humiliation By treating it like a joke Through becoming a joke myself In order to in turn survive my bec… I became a running joke

The remarkable thing about life is how time consuming it is

You can’t call timeout in soccer But you can fake an injury You can’t call timeout in life But you can fake yourself out By believing you’ve faked us all o…

Not wanting to die We weren’t foolish enough To look God in the face Wanting to live forever We selectively remembered that Go…

There’s no time like the present: Do it now Like, there’s no time like the pre… Do it now, but from an ironic dist… There’s no time to like the presen…

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

As social animals the central question of our lives asked and answered answered and asked day upon day

I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

Hook-up apps have given intimacy all the allure of an oil change

Nothing is Risk-free Except hell

The biggest stumbling block in bel… that God is in control is further accepting that He put us in charge

Because I never learned anything… I learned the hard way that it’s the only way to learn anything at all

If I’ve learned one thing from Pa… it’s that until I believe in God I will be enslaved to others That would have been enough! But I also learned that

We had a perfect plan for putting the genie back in the bottle but to get the genie out we had shattered the bottle