My first meeting with God was ver… I knocked on the door and said “Excuse me?” God didn’t look up from what He w… As He calmly and firmly explained

A desire Needn’t ever be fulfilled Because in desire I have all That I will ever need

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one

Ever since I got my first smartphone it feels like I’m visiting a museum and all the decent human beings

Faith can only move mountains by ignoring mountains of evidence Like most people who’ve lost their… I’ve retained my ability to ignore mountains of evidence

In showing us what darkness looks… fog is equal and opposite to stars lighting up the night sky

I can’t just let go of my past I have to lose a tug of war and get third degree rope burns

Either like swords all signs have a point Or like the needle of a compass

At first moving heaven and earth is its own reward because it’s hell on wheels But self-flagellation

There are neither good people nor normal people just people who are good at sticki…

Faith is an act of will power And since faith isn’t knowledge Because it necessarily involves do… For now, the act is always a predi… I will believe

I told my daughter Let me give you some free advice: You get what you pay for And she said I don’t get it

I thought the Protestant work eth… I saw all the lazy rivers in peopl… until I noticed they were each swi… against the current