100% of success is showing up on time
When we poll people about what the weather in heaven is like the most popular answer perhaps not surprisingly is like a cold day in hell
We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal
Your soul is mission control And Houston We have a problem Literally Problem is
If you made a Venn Diagram of my office and a coal mine the only thing you’d put where the… is the canary we keep by the copie… If the canary is dead
In my third marriage I went all in on being present in the moment When she left she said that being with me
Anxiety, like loneliness, is a sig… that something is very wrong and amidst an epidemic of anxiety with no end in sight the greatest danger lies in
I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone
Because I never learned anything… I learned the hard way that it’s the only way to learn anything at all
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
Time flies when you’re having fun And the key to fun is wanting Not having
You can’t burn a bridge when they’ve already dismantled th… to keep you out but you can burn an eternal flame to mark the location
People are afraid of change so they change with the times
God is infinitely demanding (MC… Because (=) God is infinitely rewarding (E)
We like to think That the solution to our problems Is coming together As one human family When this whole time
