When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

Yes, I am most afraid of losing c… But you can’t lose what you don’t… So, I’m afraid of nothing Which is how you die alone The only way to live together

The prevailing mood was that of a nuclear submarine having failed to deter Armageddon

Either like swords all signs have a point Or like the needle of a compass

The most surprising aspect of the… though perhaps it shouldn’t have b… was the amount of paperwork it gen…

It was always true that if you tried to save the relationship by looking the other way eventually they’d want to be

Happy me, happy precis: Happy wife, happy life

Would that my morning toilet were a ritual and not just the muscle memory of a muscle memory

Time tells a story and linear time is a plot device we’ve made up, call it a time machine, to advance the plot

I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

The one thing postmodernists know… is that the surest way to control… is to convince people there are no… prompting an endless chain of seco… while provoking so much anxiety

We had a perfect plan for putting the genie back in the bottle but to get the genie out we had shattered the bottle

The bell curve is the Serpent With the lump in the middle Who ate Adam and Eve By convincing us we’re all mostly… But we’ve proven indigestible

I’ve done the math: In regards to #1 #1a is sadly mistaken

On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys