We are all mistaken in locating the black sheep’s diff… in the color of his fleece when the real distinction is that the other members of the flock

When I was a kid we thought the end of the world was coming any minute via The Button Instead it came a little later

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one

The saying goes There’s no I in team But there is a me And it’s because You give yourself to the team

The left used to believe that the people have the power but once the Jewish people had the power to form the state of Israel

The only thing Bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me

When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped

In communist Russia no one wanted to be seen to be the first person to stop clapping for Stalin In America today

Much of life is boring Which is also why Life is so funny

I know I’m losing an argument with my friends when my thoughts turn to lunch I know I’m winning when I’m about to lose my lunch

The tough part about loving someon… is that connection supports autono… It’s tough to love someone enough to grant them their freedom and you can only do so

It’s said you become what you hate; I hate losing things

With social media You can squeeze All of the people All of the time

All the advanced metrics say that A bird in the hand Is worth two in the bush But the burning bush advances the… That we are consumed by jealously…