There aren’t any lines That you can’t cross– This is called free will But there are lines That you can’t uncross–

The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…

I am a story I tell myself The story is a cover-up The cover-up is always worse than… The crime is merely the will to po… The cover-up is giving away my pow…

When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school

In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up

Our elites believe That the key to holding their grip… In the face of domestic opposition… Wringing their necks While in the face of external thre…

If there is one thing we can all agree on it’s moral certainty

Note that the male tes– tes are exactly the size of small potatoes

If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask

An ego Without a body Is a ghost And we are All of us

I don’t meet many people with a mind like a steel trap Instead, the really smart people tend to have minds like trawling n… to catch the really big fish

A rising tide lifts all boats But a rising sea floods all moats

Yes, humans suck– that’s a universal The reason we haven’t been able to fix it is that being a human doesn’t suck for eve…

2/3 of the Earth Is covered by water So, most of the underground Is under water Accordingly, in dreams

My wife sleeps on her back while I sleep in the mis– take prone position