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Ink Blotter

Ink Blotter

Waking Up

I don’t want to see.
How empty I am on the inside.
My heart, shattered.
My spirit, broken.
My soul, torn.
The darkness that consumes me.
I’d rather sleep.
But I can’t help thinking.
My restless thoughts refusing to be ignored.
The storm outside reflecting my inner– turmoil
The clouds hovering low as they stew,
The sky simmering the grey hues
As thick rain drops descend
Drowning everything they touch in tears
And the lines of clarity blur in my mind
As I watch the world around me fade away
The sounds of the storm
Echoing in the insidious shadows of mind
Raging torrents flooding my heart
My breaths coming out shallow
As the storm thrashes
Tearing my carefully constructed walls down
Exposing all I truly am
The dark and the ugly
The mangled pieces
All my tarnished bits
Refusing to allow me to sleepwalk
Through this day
Denying me my escape
Prying my eyes wide
Forcing me to confront
The liar I have become
 
My numbness fading
As I begin to wake
Agony sweeping through the cracks
As the demons find their way back
Making themselves at home again
The uproar outside crashing through my insides
As I prepare for the storm
Reminding me that I’ll never be whole again
Reminding me of the shell I’ve become

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