Ink Blotter

Outsider

Looking in the window
I’m frozen in place
As I watch the scene inside
I’m looking at the woman
Who claims to be an outsider
She tells me she doesn’t fit
That she is all alone
Then she slammed the door
She shut me out
Her self-protective instincts kicking in
I’ve seen it all before
And know I will again
She is afraid
But she doesn’t know
I’ve been here too
And I’ve seen it all before
Because I’m just like her
Afraid to trust
Afraid to be hurt
An outsider looking in
So terrified to let people near
I close myself off
So I can’t be hurt again
But here I am sitting outside
Stuck in the darkness
Shivering in the cold
Wishing I could come to you
The way I always do
To lay it all on the table
My heart is yours
And always has been
But you are scared
You need your space
And I understand
I don’t factor in
I’m not really one of yours
You’ve moved on
And you have your own family now
Those who matter a little more
 
I’m just a waste of space
I’d throw me out too
You say you are an outsider
But your in the inside
And I’m stuck looking in
Sitting alone
Reminded of all I don’t have
As I watch you
Shielded by all those you love
And I can’t help but feel a little envy
Because your not the outsider
I’m am
Your just hurting
And soon you’ll heal
But I’ll still be standing here
Sitting outside looking in
Wishing with my everything
That I had somewhere I fit
Where people loved me
The way they do you
Because I’m an outsider
A waste of space
And during times like these
I can’t help but wonder
Why I’m even here

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