Ink Blotter

Digging My Own Grave

The world is an ugly place
Filled with disease
Secrets buried deep within
Betraying the lies we hide behind
Spewing all our sordid crimes
The journey we make
Into the dark
Once the contagion reaches out
Taking out down
As we suffer slow deaths
 
Starring down at my hands
Black from smut
All my past transgressions
Cluttered by the years
Fighting with my fists
I struggled to survive
Paying with my soul
And I can’t help but wonder
Where right ends
And wrong begins
The lines became blurred
So long ago
Is this all just an illusion
A fancy fabrication
Weaved from my mind
Just a reflection
Of my own sorry mental state
The darkness within
Is projected
From my own damaged soul
While my story is told
Am I to blame?
Should I feel this
All consuming shame?
Is this all my fault?
The dirt cluttering
The grimy streets
Covering us in the filth
We breath
 
Perhaps I am the culprit
For this outbreak
Now that I have
Lost the battle with my denial
Opening the floodgates to hell
Letting all these creatures out
Shrouding life with shadows
Exposing us for the monsters
We strive so hard to hide
Submerged within
Our tainted hearts
Spewing our secrets
Spreading the virus
Clawing holes our flesh
Ripping at our souls
Breaking all our bones
Leaving us broken
Leaving us bleeding
With no will to live
Showing us an ugliness
We attempt to avoid
As we walk among the dead
 
And I can’t help but wonder
If this is all just a mirror into my soul
Reflecting all my bitterness
Feeding on the resentment
I carry deep inside
My consolation prize
For surviving the attack
From my own demons
Am I to blame?
That I’m trapped
In the darkness
Where there is no hope
Should I be ashamed?
That I’m digging my own grave
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