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ADDICTION
My heart yearns
My memory flooding my head
Images gloating of funs to be had
Displaying first hand reminders
The taste
The smell
How it felt
Cravings haunt me tonight
My heart beating faster
Adrenaline filling the emptiness
Anticipation
The need for more
Thoughts squirming in my head
As I nervously scuffle
With a sense of dread
Not wanting to wake the dead
The knots in my stomach
Demanding to be fed
Anticipation drowning out
The pounding in my head
As I wait for my resolve to cave
And the demons to whisk back in
The clock glows dim
Reminding me of the time
As I count the hours
Late into the night
Trying to keep the door closed
Needing to stay out of the past
Waiting...
Praying for survival
The pain excruciating
As I’m taunted
By the silhouette
A promise of what is to come
Every flawless detail
Another chance to regress
As I cling to my pen
Taking solace in it’s tender caress
As the sketches etched in my head
Come back to life
Memories leaping from the paintings
Filling the pages of my head
As my body revolts
Against the lapse of time
How long has it been?
Since I confessed my soul
How long has it been?
Since I’ve visit my home
I contemplate these renderings
My fingers connect with family
The tapping of the keys
Eliminating my anxiety
As I draft my next entry
Eager to fill the blank page
Needing this hug
Remembering my love
As I take another hit
And spill my deepest secrets
Feeding my addiction
The only way I know how
Half expecting the judgements
That never do come around
As the pain dulls
With each new word I shout
Escaping the confines of my minds
Drugged with endorphins
My addiction fed
Emotions whirling in my head
As I realize I must start again
