Pastor Homer is a jealous man and Opal gives him fits through 40 years of marriage dancing, laughing kissing other men

We worry so much because we’re nice people. We want to find a way to feed the poor house the poor

It was the first time that senators had been asked to go home and address parent-teacher meetings at all the middle schools in their states. Each had been given a sheet of talking point...

I can’t speak for the women attending this conference on Homeland Security. They’re scholars, too, brought here for their expertise.

After the Spring rain a dove on a Dogwood branch preens like a starlet

The last visitor before I sleep is always the old priest puffing up the stairs to my door, a wine cask under each arm, a loaf of pumpernickel in his teet…

First, we place the neck on the bl… and put the basket underneath the head and then make sure the bl… is sharp enough before we ask the… one more time just to be polite:

He likes people if they are useful. Women are useful. Employees are useful. Voters are useful.

In the paper this morning a woman in the suburbs complained she has to eat too much steak too often because her husband

He asked and so I told him. The “cancer” poems stem from cancer in the family. Daughter’s terminal. Son’s a five-year survivor.

Fred and Martha have always voted the same way since their marriage long ago but not this time and Fred wondered why Martha was voting the other way

The stench came first, the young man remembers. It was as if someone had grabbed him by the ankles, turned him upside down

Trumpelstiltskin is a fairy tale not written by the Brothers Grimm… It’s written every day by Fox and… America hears it every hour and half the nation loves it