4:53 pm
always been taught to prioritize other people’s pain over my own trained selfish if i speak about myself at… supposed to normalize anger
i’m the only one awake between dusk and dawn. i see the faint moonlight caressin… the low sunlight in such a way, that they seem to speak through on…
i feel... “okay” really that means i’ve been dissoc… it means distracted it means ignoring what upsets me it means crying less,
it is so incredibly draining to feel so passionless. i just want to feel useful interesting
same old patterns, willing to give my love away. but what’s the shame in that? yes it hurts - never quite reciprocated -
jotting down my thoughts trying to make sense of it all shaking hands stiff fingers i cannot even self soothe anymore
i want it to work so badly but i don’t think it ever will unfortunately i am putting too much effort in once again
i have weeds growing from my skin i am one with earth and still feeling unnatural i sit, water pours i am blooming
i love you more than i ever though… you fell into my life when i didn’t expect a thing you fell into my life when i needed you most
people have hurt me. taken advantage and made me feel unsafe. you have never harmed me, so why does it bother me so much
i don’t want to ruin your night i don’t want to always seem broken always bringing you sadness that y… soon you will be tired of it i am not as fun or interesting as…
i hope that every time that you see this shade of green it drives you mad i hope that every time that you hear a laugh like mine
my mind is loud tonight, i am struggling to sift through it… overwhelmed by every detail. feel like i don’t exist feel like i am replaceable
i wonder if i cross your mind i wonder of thoughts of me creep u… and whisper in your ear i wonder if you take a second glan… at my name when i call
i have been trying so hard to heal stuck in the past, despite my effo… life in the sun felt so good i only wish that i could have stay… wandering aimlessly now that i was