“Screw the Vernal Equinox” is all Cootie Kelly ever says sitting triumphant with his foaming glass of Guinness on the last stool at Maggie’s

It’s time to stop the killing by order of the courts. Time to stop the injections

It used to bother me to see odd people leapfrog parking meters and shout every day is Halloween until

The other day I was talking to a neighbor who said he has found a way to help the poor and improve our environment simultaneously. It’s no secret, he said, that we have a dire food shor...

They buried Colleen Garrity today a woman 95 few people thought would ever die and what a lovely eulogy her cousin Paddy gave. Paddy must be 80 if a day yet he

Magnificent animal Harambe, the Silverback gorilla killed at t… Lovely child, the three-year-old w… jumped in Harambe’s den. The mother took her son to the zoo

When Homer stubs his toe or bumps his elbow, the pain is always piercing but Homer’s a pious man so swearing isn’t for him.

I saw Al once a month for 30 years, maybe more, doing business together. He retired to hunt bear in Alaska, hook Tarpon

Can you hear me in the bunker, Le… Sorry to hear ISIS has you in a… But I’m delighted to know you’re… camouflaged in your bunker with an… Now you’re telling me ISIS is th…

For years Rocky’s Diner had always done a great business for breakfast and lunch but his dinner business had fallen off recently as folks moved to the suburbs, got married, died or simp...

Aaron loves the show on television about antiques. Tonight they have a Grecian vase worth close to a million dollars. Aaron has stuff in the basement

My wife likes to garden. She’s crazy about roses, lilies and daisies. She says I should get out in the garden and weed.

Where did it go? I really don’t know. I lost it weeks ago in the middle of the night. Too tired to get up.

How are things, Adolph? This is Brian, from NBC. Thanks for the interview. It will air in September if the network brings me back.