everything is muffled and clean wh… i have bathed in dust and soil, an… i lay on your cool kitchen tile an… a constant reminder that i’m here,… but now with me here there is mud…

it’s ugly how time moves. how places that you used to fit in… the kitchen cabinets, the space between your closet shel… don’t fit you anymore.

i love saying no, and watching men who are not accustomed to hearing… grow mad and confused. betrayed by the idea of me ruining… and not the other way around.

there’s something so forgiving in being angry on behalf of a chil… who no one was angry for.

you ask me if i have dreams and i start telling you about the… that haunt me when i try to sleep but then you look at me and laugh uncomfortably and say,

i don’t miss you as much as i thou… isn’t that terrible? aren’t i such… i told you, curling into myself, s… that i smell your clothes when i f… i refused to wash them or set them…

i’m whispering “baby,” up to the n… relishing in the roll of the word… the hum of influence, consequence,… like a storm, like a burn, like an…

i let you watch me lose my goddamn… raging at the wallpaper and crying… i let you listen to the burning an… and the pop of a pill bottle openi… i let you feel the screaming apolo…

just puked up cookie batter; sending my love to illinois.

but i don’t think you were ever built to be a mother, and i never learned how to love you without it burning me from the inside out. i was raised to trust you through every betrayal and...

do you love me, genuinely? don’t scoff and say, “yes, of cour… think about it for a minute. do you love me? when i’m crying like we’ve got roo…

i have my mothers hands and her sh… i’ve got my dad’s jaw and his impa… i’m ten times as angry as my mothe… and twice as sad as my father is. here’s the thing, part one:

i feel your words in my bones, and… you’ve got me shaking, you’ve got… you ever think about the fact that… i do, every goddamn day. you came into the world with a ven…

drunken stupor, apologies pouring… wish i were high but i can’t find… my parents don’t drink so i know a… here’s the thing: i’m not a good p… i yell and scream in my driveway t…

i like dogs that bark and girls wh… yelling boys and little kids under… trying to figure out what to call… and always picking out “bones” or… i love animals and lovers with sca…