If you see a Zombie walking toward you down the sidewalk, you shouldn’t say, “Hey you Zombie, you piece of crap.” That is very offensive. After all, he she or it is a human being with feelings just like you have. Actually, I can’t say human being, but it might have been at some time before. Just because it is a member of the minority race, it is just like you and me with a few minor adjustments.
Upon addressing a Zombie in the proper way, you could say, “Top of the morning to you, ole Chap. You sure look quite dapper with that matching set of eye sockets in your head. You don’t even need eyeballs in them. You look quite handsome without them,” or, “Your skin is the same color of the dashing gray sport jacket I bought yesterday, and that black funk junk that you got oozing out of your scalp is the same color as the beautiful silk tie that I bought to go along with the jacket.
If the Zombie is too far gone, it might be too hard to identify its gender. You shouldn’t call it an it. You should refer to it as a sir or ma’am with the utmost respect; something like Sir Zombie, Madam Zombie, or Friend Zombie, though not close enough of a friend to invite to dinner. He or she might smell too bad and ruin the appetite, and besides that, you might be its main course for dinner.
When you get to know a Zombie, it has the same characteristics as you and me except it doesn’t sleep too much. It just wanders around the streets looking for a friend like you and me. I don’t know what it would do if it found a friend. Maybe it is a naughty Zombie. Maybe you shouldn’t try to shake hands with it or hug it.
If it is naughty, it might have come from an abusive family. Maybe its daddy was a no good for nothing drunken Zombie who gets plastered and kicks the crap out of his boy. They also wander around the streets. You can’t try to kick the crap out of the poor boy, because he can’t help his nastiness. He might also tell his father, then his daddy will come and kick the crap out of you. They are all just misguided in life. You should feel sorry for them and show them some respect.
So, when walking down the street you should say, ”Good day your most handsome, intelligent human being Zombie person." Show some respect to our American citizens and don’t be offensive toward them. And above all, don’t refer to them as a piece of crap. You got it?