The Agony of Excellence

I am an artist and this is my testimony.  My sensitivity overwhelms me.  I didn’t choose to have it.  It chose me.  It’s like God selected some of us to inherit it, so it would move us to find the beauty within every stone and every breath of nature; then use it to express ourselves through our art.  There has to be someone to find and expand upon it.

Art has no ending, but just series of plateaus that need to be revitalized and taken to new levels.  Mankind won’t support something that it can’t understand; therefore, art rises above their comprehension and losses its appeal and credibility, even though it’s innovative and mature.

Art is always one step ahead of what the masses desire, but where would culture be if it stayed mired in one of those plateaus?  That mysterious loftiness reminds people that there must be something noteworthy in its artistic intentions, but don’t understand the way is presents itself, (artistic expression.)

My talent that God gave me won’t let mediocrity dominate my thoughts, so I can’t pursue it even though I wish to.  My sensitivity is locked into my being, and nothing will satisfy me like my pursuit of excellence will do.

God’s plan for me is not to enjoy life, but to examine every bit of it and feel its pulse in my bones.  The joys and sorrows take me with them and abuse my vulnerability, and then I die and leave this earth unrecognized.  Those who only understand some of my ideas in their early stages, capitalize on just what they know about them and leave this earth with the words, “An accomplished innovator,” written on their tombstone.  I will be remembered as someone who was just an artist, and not what I deserved; someone who taught artists to be artists.

This is my philosophy on life and its unfairness, and on art, the way it is and ever shall be.  I see God as the master artist and me as one of his chosen apprentices.  I see him smiling at me from his seat at the summit of all plateaus.  Praise be to God, the innovator of all creation.