The Advisor
After Mr. Roughbottom arose from his night’s sleep, he noticed that his feet were pointed in the wrong direction. When he meant to walk over to the bathroom, he ended up in the closet. He immediately walked backwards over to the telephone and called Dr. Shmutz. To his dismay, he actually spoke to him without going through his secretary.
“Hello Dr. Shmutz. Is this really you?” He asked. “Something weird happened to me this morning. I noticed that my feet were pointed northward when they should have been pointed southward.” “That is a common problem,” said the doctor, “It happens a lot these days. It seems that you have Reversablematicalitis Syndrome. When you want to go south, you end up going northward. All you have to do is walk backwards. Or else, if you want to schedule an appointment, I could turn your feet around so you could walk normally again. Then it wouldn’t take you so long to get to where you were going. It’s up to you. The operation would cost $19,642.17.”
“Holy smokes!” said Mr. Roughbottom, “I think I’ll just learn how to walk backwards these days. Maybe if enough people started doing that, time would start going backwards, then I would end up in the womb again, and eventually in the twinkle of my father’s eye. Thanks for the advice anyway. Good-by Doc.”
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