Robotic Criers
“Good afternoon. You have
Reached the accounting department
Of Stewart & Sons Department Store.
Please say your account number
Into the phone to find out your balance.
Thank you.
You have $654.26 in your account.”
May I speak to someone who can
Help me out with my balance?”
Asked the customer.
“I had to pay the rent yesterday
And I only have $200.00 left.
I could pay the $200.00 now
Then $454.26 next week
When I get paid at work.”
“You have $654.26 in your account,”
Said the answering machine.
“But I can’t afford to give you
The full amount right now.”
“You have $654.26 in your account.”
I can’t pay it now, you robotic nitwit.”
“You have $654.26 in your account.”
“Yeah but if I can’t pay the total
Amount now, I will lose my credit,
And I will lose my apartment.
Please help me out.”
“Tough shit, Boo-hoo-hoo,”
Said the robotic crier.
“When will they invent machines
That actually do something for you?”
Said the customer. Then the machine said,
“Tough shit. Boo-hoo-hoo. Ya wanna
Go outside and duke it out in the alley?”
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