Private Meditations
Deep down inside my private mind,
encircled by barbed wire fences,
my world, my pride, my haven,
my autonomy, my island,
my secret theories, my wilderness,
my agnostic self, my religion,
rising above all,
alone where God is locked out,
a land with no foundation,
a building swaying in the wind,
my feet unsteady, walking in hope,
my private meditations,
my private island
where God is forbidden,
replaced by independent thought,
my own religion based on
my own theories, my own Bible,
refusing any assistance,
trying not to feel his presence
even though it makes me feel better,
trying to feel more important,
more intelligent,
closing my mind to his wisdom,
trying to walk on unsteady legs,
repeating to myself that I am
a God and don’t need another one,
trying to convince myself while
gradually losing my faith in me,
lowering my self-esteem, my pride,
and ultimately hitting the bottom,
until realizing that
since I am his creation,
how could I ever know
more than he does?
Intelligence is merely a finding.
Wisdom is in the knowing and letting
that intelligence work within me.
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