Fancy Schmancy bottles equipped
With a cap conundrum,
With a secret as to the twisting.
How shalt thou twist it off
If he can’t get to the twister?
If thou can’t figure out
The directions as how to twist it
With all that plastic junk
Hanging on it,
How can he find out how to
Open it up and have a drink?
’Tis a secret alright.
Like the dude who
Invented the bottle cap
Didn’t want you to figure it out;
Tough shit if thou hast thirst.
If one is too stupid to
Get to the twister,
He’s too stupid to have a drink.
Only smart people
Can have a drink these days.
Life is tough.
You gotta be smart to quench your thirst.