“My teacher wasn't half as nice as… His name was Mister Unsworth and… And when you didn't know a date he… And start to twist while you sat t… He'd twist and twist and twist you…

A woman who my mother knows Came in and took off all her cloth… Said I, not being very old, ‘By golly gosh, you must be cold!’ ‘No, no!’ she cried. 'Indeed I’m…

There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going! There’s no knowing where they’re r… Or which way they river’s flowing! Not a speck of light is showing,

Round the world and home again That’s the sailor’s way Faster faster, faster faster There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going

Oh you Knid, you are vile and ver… You are slimy and soggy and squish… But what do we care ‘Cause you can’t get in here, So hop it and don’t get ambitious!

Come with me and you’ll be In a world of pure imagination Take a look and you’ll see Into your imagination We’ll begin with a spin

In England once there lived a big And wonderfully clever pig. To everybody it was plain That Piggy had a massive brain. He worked out sums inside his head…

‘If you are old and have the shake… If all your bones are full of ache… If you can hardly walk at all, If living drives you up the wall, If you’re a grump and full of spit…

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle i… Cover it in chocolate and a miracl… The candy man, the candy man can The candy man can ‘cause he mixes… And makes the world taste good

The animal I really dig, Above all others is the pig. Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever, Pigs are courteous. However, Now and then, to break this rule,

‘Attention please! Attention plea… Don’t dare to talk! Don’t dare to… Don’t doze or daydream! Stay awak… Your health, your very life’s at s… Ho–ho, you say, they can’t mean me…

Hey diddle diddle We’re all on the fiddle And never get up until noon. We only take cash Which we carefully stash

‘Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! The great big greedy nincompoop! How long could we allow this beast To gorge and guzzle, feed and feas… On everything he wanted to?

The most important thing we’ve lea… So far as children are concerned, Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set— Or better still, just don’t instal…

“This famous wicked little tale Should never have been put on sale It is a mystery to me Why loving parents cannot see That this is actually a book